right in my own eyes
"There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death." (Proverbs 16:25)
i think i have forgotten to battle the trend. life is hard and mine naturally flows in certain directions. i have forgotten how to swim upstream or even that it is necessary. i think i have assumed in the last few years that by surrounding myself by appropriate influences i could change the direction of the stream. this is the illusion. i am living in the assumption that by being well placed there is no longer a need to fight when in reality the attacks probably become more insidious and of greater strength. there is still so much within myself and in the society that surrounds me that naturally flows away from God.
in many cases my best nature has been turned to the wrong problem so that i hardly perceive the current. i find myself operating in the strengths God has given me to pursue important questions in my life or to accomplish worthy activities but at the wrong time or in my own power. i struggle to sift through the realities of my life without becoming bogged down on things God would have me cast before Him because they are too big for me. these things i struggle with and spend my time pushing seem so important so "right," but on a daily basis they have dragged me under, roughed me up, and deposited me further and further from God's will for my life.
such a critical piece to the deception i have been living under is the idea that clearly being in strong community and striving to live for God must have some effect. as i stated before i have assumed that the effect was to reverse the stream so that i could drift towards God's will. perhaps a more realistic picture is that through the power of God and the support of a loving community I gain swim fins or something in a sleek new outboard motor. i still need to steer myself in the right direction every day or pull myself into the boat and stay focused on pointing the rudder towards my destination. i have never considered metaphor a strong point, but the underlying principle is that my effort is still required. drifting is not an option.
i'm not exactly sure how to stop drifting but knowing is certainly half the battle...right?
i think i have forgotten to battle the trend. life is hard and mine naturally flows in certain directions. i have forgotten how to swim upstream or even that it is necessary. i think i have assumed in the last few years that by surrounding myself by appropriate influences i could change the direction of the stream. this is the illusion. i am living in the assumption that by being well placed there is no longer a need to fight when in reality the attacks probably become more insidious and of greater strength. there is still so much within myself and in the society that surrounds me that naturally flows away from God.
in many cases my best nature has been turned to the wrong problem so that i hardly perceive the current. i find myself operating in the strengths God has given me to pursue important questions in my life or to accomplish worthy activities but at the wrong time or in my own power. i struggle to sift through the realities of my life without becoming bogged down on things God would have me cast before Him because they are too big for me. these things i struggle with and spend my time pushing seem so important so "right," but on a daily basis they have dragged me under, roughed me up, and deposited me further and further from God's will for my life.
such a critical piece to the deception i have been living under is the idea that clearly being in strong community and striving to live for God must have some effect. as i stated before i have assumed that the effect was to reverse the stream so that i could drift towards God's will. perhaps a more realistic picture is that through the power of God and the support of a loving community I gain swim fins or something in a sleek new outboard motor. i still need to steer myself in the right direction every day or pull myself into the boat and stay focused on pointing the rudder towards my destination. i have never considered metaphor a strong point, but the underlying principle is that my effort is still required. drifting is not an option.
i'm not exactly sure how to stop drifting but knowing is certainly half the battle...right?
posted by whiteforks at 11:13 a.m.
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