desire for what?

we have been schooled in this society to look towards those who have what we want and to emulate them. for every area of our lives this leaves as an interesting exercise the question "who would i like to become?" who would i like to become in regards to the physical, emotional, relational, spiritual, vocational, academic, etc.? frightening insight can sometimes be had by actually thinking through to it's natural conclusion the act of taking as our standard certain people and ideals.

on the surface i think that i have a reasonable handle on where my focus should be...and here the surface i'm talking about is not the superficiality of the external but the superficiality of the internal. on that surface i think that my motives, intentions, and focus are good and whole and as they should be. if i prod just a little deeper though and require just a little bit more internal honesty things become murkier.

the greatest task of living might, i think, be to throw away the reasonable goals, the reasonable idols and to look for a single true source of inspiration and a single resource for motivation and standards of character. it is much easier to look for a watered-down example of 'who i would like to be" than to come into an understanding of the true standard. it is easier for me to point at a person whose work, or physique, or attitude i would like to emulate than to place God as the true motivation for everything....period.

God makes sense to me as a motivation for a spiritual life defined primarily as a relationship with Him. how do i live the other aspects of my life with Him as motivator, as goal, as purpose?